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Funny Amazon.com Reviews for Tuscan Dairy Whole Vitamin D Milk, Gallon, 128 oz

Tuscan Dairy Whole Vitamin D Milk, Gallon, 128 oz
From Tuscan Dairy Farms
1,855 customer reviews | 102 answered questions
2 new from $74.00
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Some Customer Questions and Answers

Question:
Isn’t milk highly perishable? Is this irradiated and shipped warm? Does it really hold up? This stuff won’t kill me outright will it?
Answer:
Not outright, but I’d sleep with one eye open if I were you.
By Stacy Colonna on October 16, 2013

Question:
I see that they sell “Used & New from: $45.00” – How can they sell “Used” Milk? Used as a car wax? Used as a paint thinner, or… something else?
Answer:
It is better not to ask such questions. The last customer to do so was “Corrected”. It’s much better just to order the milk and enjoy it.
By Bill on September 18, 2013

Question:
does it come from cows?
Answer:
No, it comes from an elegant 1 gallon plastic milk jug.
By Doug H. on June 25, 2013

Question:
I see this product has no artificial growth hormones in it – how many real growth hormones are there though?
Answer:
Let’s just say I no longer need that boob job….
-Kaitlyn Jenner (Formerly Bruce)
By Hharmon on July 21, 2015

Question:
Customers Who Viewed This Item Also Viewed Uranium 238?? Is there something I should know?
Answer:
The less you know, the better.
By Average Consumer 123 on July 7, 2014

Some Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5 stars | Combine with other foods!
By J. Fitzsimmons on August 5, 2006

Has anyone else tried pouring this stuff over dry cereal? A-W-E-S-O-M-E!

5.0 out of 5 stars | Hidden message?
By Rubicon on March 8, 2008

“Tuscan Whole Milk” can be re-arranged to say “I’ll know mustache”. Coincidence? I think not.

3.0 out of 5 stars | Okay product but you have to buy a glass to use it.
By troublemaker on September 19, 2006

Don’t get fooled by the easy-to-use look of this product.

5.0 out of 5 stars | As a cat, I love it
By Amazon Customeron May 6, 2016

Let me say, as a cat, this Tuscan Dairy Whole Vitamin D Milk is AMAZING. Who knew that something that came out of a cow could be so good? I wait in anticipation every time my person walks to the refrigerator. And the moment my person places their hand on the handle? I practically start bouncing off the walls. When they pour the milk into my little blue water dish, I immediately start lapping at the milk, even if my person isn’t done pouring the milk. Sometimes it spills all over me, but the Tuscan Whole Milk is sooooo good that I just keep lapping it up. When my person tries to pry me away to wash the milk off of me, I yowl and squirm in protest, partly because I HATE WATER getting on me, but mainly because the milk is JUST. SO. GOOOOOD. Now, I’m not the only one who loves Tuscan Dairy milk, my person loves it to. After they finish pouring a bowl for me, they’ll take their glass (the one with what looks like a mouse with red shorts and yellow shoes on it) and pours a glass for them. We’ll sit there, enjoying the awesome taste of Tuscan Diary milk, until we’re done, and then I’ll usually start meowing for another bowl until my person sighs, opens the refrigerator, and pours a bowl for me, and another glass for them. =^ᴥ^=

5.0 out of 5 stars | Does life get any better than this!?
By Sitcheyon December 15, 2015

I always thought I was doomed to a life of grocery shopping trips for milk. It’s like stopping for gas. You know you need it, but it’s such a pain. Nobody knows why, but everybody agrees. That’s me with buying milk. I can’t believe I can now order this amazing brand online. Who cares if rots while being shipped and gives me food poisoning!? Not I, that’s who! At least I can stay in my pajamas at home with food poisoning. This offer has given me the ability to finally cut back on the unnecessary calorie burning. I mean, of course I always parked as close to the store as possible and sometimes even up on the curb, but I still had to walk in, pick up the milk, pay, and walk back to my car. I mean really, nobody should be forced into that kind of life. It’s exhausting just to think about.

5.0 out of 5 stars | Caution!
By R. Thompson on August 20, 2015
I bought some used milk and it didn’t look anything like the picture. First of all it was yellow, not white. A few days after arrival it had a strong ammonia smell. I could barely drink the whole gallon.

1.0 out of 5 stars | In Retrospect
By Ron Burgundy on July 17, 2015
This was a bad idea.

 
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