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Funny Amazon.com Reviews for Wenger 16999 Swiss Army Knife Giant

Wenger 16999 Swiss Army Knife Giant
By Wenger
604 customer reviews | 122 answered questions
Currently unavailable.
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Some Questions and Answers

Question:
Is this really $1000+? Is this a joke?
Answer:
No Joke. Amazon pricing is so low that I too thought it to be a misprint.
By Mr. Practical on May 28, 2014

Question:
Is this a standard issue for the Swiss Army? Or does this require special training?
Answer:
Standard Swiss Army recruits are currently issued the earlier Wenger 16998, as the teleportation attachment in the current model was causing AWOL rates to skyrocket.
By Christine M. Schroeder on June 21, 2014

Question:
Is this Giant Swiss Army Knife allowed to go past TSA airport security? Or must I put it in checked bags? Bringing it as a gift, but I feel leaving it in the checked bag is a bad idea.
Answer:
This Giant Swiss Army Knife is the reason the TSA airport security even exist. The last I head of someone checking it in, they got “checked out” if you know what I mean. You don’t leave this knife anywhere, it leaves you. Try to remember that and you should be fine on your travels. Just don’t pull out the lightning rod attachment when you’re in the air, it’s been known to cause a number of fatalities.
By Denis on January 31, 2014

Question:
I bought a Boeing 747. It needs oil change and tire rotation. Is this the tool i want to buy? Help me.
Answer:
This tool might be a bit more than you need, but does contain an entire 747A overhaul gasket set and avionics diagnostic interface. The 3-man crew accompanying the device come at full labor rates, and could add additional expense you hadn’t counted on.
By AJH on June 15, 2014

Some Customer Reviews

3.0 out of 5 stars | Can’t fix your woman
By V&Hon April 25, 2016

It has 141 functions, but fixing a woman is not one. I’d recommend uranium ore

3.0 out of 5 stars | Ooops
By Owenlong on May 27, 2014

I forgot the knife in the front pocket of my Swiss Army shorts and when my wife washed them it completely disassembled our washing machine.

3.0 out of 5 stars | Changed my life
By Kristi on May 27, 2014

Received this knife as a gift for my 18th birthday. Wish I’d have known what it was because as soon as I touched it, I grew a mustache and became a Navy Seal. Mom fainted and my dad laughed and handed me a beer. I was born a girl.

Minus 2 stars because my breasts were really nice.

1.0 out of 5 stars | Disappointing
By theoriginalcat on March 16, 2014

This would be a great product but was dismayed to find it has no banana slicer- that’s a deal breaker. Returning today.

5.0 out of 5 stars | What! Only 22 Screwdrivers
By Sean McAleavy on March 22, 2016

I really, really loved the convenience and portability of this sleek and well designed product, but ultimately had to return it due to the fact that it only has 22 screwdrivers. I mean, c’mon, seriously! How am I supposed to get anything done with that insufficient amount! What am I, the Mr.I can just sprout the remaining screwdrivers I am going to need out of my ass! No, I don’t thinks so! Let’s be realistic here folks, how hard could it have really been for the designers to add another ten or so screwdrivers. I’m thinking not hard at all. Especially since one of the utensils on it is a fully functioning design and execute assembly line. I am going to miss it though.

5.0 out of 5 stars | Even bigger than Kim Kardashian’s behind !
By Hans Blix on January 27, 2016
I bought this, because it is the only other thing in the Universe bigger than Kim Kardashian’s behind..

1.0 out of 5 stars | I lost my job because of this…
By Kiefer on January 22, 2016

I work as a runway attendent for a jetliner and this thing flew out of my pocket into the engine block and dissasembled the whole airliner now i got 229 angry people wanting free flights my boss just gave me my final paycheck and worst yet they are keaping this item because it has a automatic feature set up to repair planes durring their check in,s. HORRABLE PRODUCT HIGHLY DONT WANT…

5.0 out of 5 stars | I was really loving this until some really arrogant guy …
By P. Griffiths on December 7, 2015

I was really loving this until some really arrogant guy with an accent calling himself The Doctor showed up and borrowed it to repair his police call box… He just vanished with it and never came back! So rude!

5.0 out of 5 stars | It’s perfect, but…
By Yuri B on January 20, 2016

I let my son use the scoop attachment to dig some sand while playing in a sandbox. Had to leave him for just under a minute to get some lemonade, and came back to this…
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2.0 out of 5 stars | Shots from the Grassy Knoll!
By Tony Pivetta on March 7, 2015

The 16999 comes in handy, but only if you can locate the implements. Who puts a bootlegged copy of the original Zapruder tape between a leaf blower and nose hair plucker?! Proof of conspiracy delayed is proof of conspiracy denied.

3.0 out of 5 stars | Its great for camping the fold out fork and spoon are …
By J. Eric Christensen on January 28, 2015

Its great for camping the fold out fork and spoon are great. The fold out plate is neat to. Just one flaw in the design! Since the plate and silverware don’t detach how can you use them together. Loose a star for having to buy two. I tried using it for backpacking but there was not any room left in my pack since i had to have two! Luckily the fold out stove is next to the plate so you can use them together! I would suggest to wenger for future designs that the fold out coffee maker should be able to accommodate two cups instead of one.

5.0 out of 5 stars | Five Stars
By JOSHUA BRADY on January 28, 2015

In case you were ever wondering what happened to Megatron…

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